Accepting Help is a Vulnerable Act

I’m not someone who likes to ask for or accept help. While I love helping others, I feel a great deal of shame around asking others for help when I need it.

But I’ve come to the realization recently, thanks in large part to Dr. Brené Brown, that “when you cannot accept and ask for help without self-judgment, then when you offer other people help, you are always doing so with judgment.”

The way she explained her own struggles being a social worker who can’t ask for or accept help strongly resonated with me.

“One way that I got my worth for a lot of years was by helping other people. But I would never ask for help which meant when I was helping you, I was judging you. When you extract worthiness for helping people, that’s judgment. When you don’t extract worthiness and you think, I’m just helping you because someday I’m going to need help, that’s connection. That’s vulnerability.”

I’ve had a tough year which came to a head in the past few months when I got so sick with Lyme disease I had to move in with my mother temporarily so she could take care of me. I’m still not at a point where I can make myself ask for help, but I did make this GoFundMe page as a courtesy to any friends or family who have watched me suffer while feeling exasperated by my inability to ask for and accept help.

I’m not expecting any help from this, but for anyone who does happen to donate, thank you truly from the bottom of my heart ❤